and yes I ate dinner.

I know its been a few days since I last posted, but I have been incredibly busy. This is compounded by the winter weather which is causing me to feel quite unsatisfied. Hindsight tells me that, that would probably be the best time to write, oh well. I have been bothered by the cold, and my work, food, my society and the gym. It’s a general feeling of uneasiness, I cannot help but be wary of the future as I really do not know what I’m going to be doing. Then I think that I am wasting time dwelling on what I have no control over when I should be concentrating at the tasks I have to complete now.

In other news: Twice today I caught myself speaking about friend’s of mine relationships. I’m one of those really non-drama girls so this was quite odd to think of myself as participating in gossiping of this nature. But the first case involved my one friend. Joe just got out of a relationship in January, and all the sudden hes hanging out with this other girl. It would be ok if this girl were cool, or interesting. However, she’s not, she just sits there and barely speaks and is unkempt, like really messy hair trying to be elegantly disheveled quite unsuccessfully and she also sort of looks like a guy. What’s even worse is she’s always around, and it almost appears like she is too scared to contradict anything my friend says (because he can be very opinionated) or maybe she’s just too dumb to disagree, but the result is I’m regaled with Joe’s stories more then once, because it seems as if he doesn’t even put any effort into keeping track of what he has told me or hasn’t told me because his new constant companion puts up with it.

While the other situation is more complicated. Mary is staying in a relationship, and I use that term loosely. It seems like maybe they have fun together, but they hardly ever hang out and from her point of view the two major things i) emotional closeness ii) physical closeness isn’t present at all. But she’s staying in the relationship because they have a lot of mutual friends. Now these friends are mutual, she had them before they dated. But several people kindly told her not to go out with him before they started dating as he was seen as hmm ‘sweeter’ or ‘more innocent’ just not his type. But now that their relationship is not so great, it seems like she should just break up but she’s frightened that several of her friend will no longer talk to her. But if she lets the relationship fizzle she’ll be fin.

I do not think it is a good idea. I can understand snubbing an ex of a friend who I was not friend with to begin with. But to snub a friend because she happens to be another friends ex… just seems immature.

On Monday, however, something happened that made me quite happy. I've been im-ing a cousin of mine, i think she's 16. I've always liked her, but in the past when i tried to get to know her it seemed like a one sided effort. But recently we've been chatting alot, mainly about regular teenage angsty things. In our last conversation she said "iknow this may sound weird but i realy like talking to you" and I replied with "its not weird, i'm really happy I've gotten to know you better as well."
And I am, i really am.